Reviews of Haunted House Fiction

Lost Boy, Lost Girl Review with a Brief Tribute to Peter Straub

/ danielwalterc / 2 Comments

PeterStraubThis year we lost a renowned horror author.  R.I.P. Peter Straub. He left us on Sept 4, 2022.  Not only did he pass away on my wedding anniversary but we share the same birthday – March 2.  Does this mean we are cosmically linked in some way? Most likely not.  I don’t put too much credence in cosmic/spiritual mumbo jumbo. I do like to read and write about it, that’s for sure, but I see it for what it is – fiction, not fact.   Straub certainly has left the world some compelling fiction, that’s for sure. And like any author, he also left us some fiction that is in the upper realms of the “OK” rating scale.  This is where Lost Boy, Lost Girl sits at. Is there an OK + grade?  There is now.

I suppose his most celebrated works are Ghost Story and The Talisman, with the latter being co-authored by Stephen King.  I read the former, loved it; haven’t attempted the latter.  My review of Ghost Story is not without some minor criticism.  In the review, I suggest:

At times during my reading, I found myself lost in the tangled trails of plot. Yes, these trails do untangle and eventually lead you where you want to go, but still, it was a tedious experience at times.

I wrote this review in 2016 – six years ago. What I said remains true. However, there is something about Ghost Story that has stuck with me all this time.  I’m not good at remembering the details of a story I read some time ago, including its characters (especially not their names.)  Likewise with Ghost Story. Specific details are lost but there is a feeling that remains. That’s the best way I can describe it.  A small town, a snowy atmosphere, several haunted houses, mystery, all in the meaty book; thoroughly presented and forever imprinted within my soul.   Thus, my liking of this book has increased over time.

As mentioned, I never read The Talisman. My understand is that while this is a critically acclaimed novel, a reader, like a traveler, must prepare for a lengthy journey before beginning such an adventure. Since this is a blog dedicated to haunted houses, I haven’t been in a hurry to dive into this book. But I do read books, both horror and non-horror, that have nothing to do with haunted houses.  So read this I will someday and I’m sure I will at least like it more that I will dislike it.

I wish I could say more about Peter Straub’s work. As it stands, I have only read three of his novels. Besides Ghost Story, I read Julia and Lost Boy, Lost Girl, two haunted house novels.  Neither are as good as Ghost Story.

Julia is another book I place in the “Ok” department. While delightfully creepy, I found it quite vague in its telling. This was Straub’s first venture into the supernatural and I equate it to a “practice book”, a preparatory exercise that would allow him to strengthen his telling of supernatural tales, as evidenced by his later work Ghost Story

I wrote this in a review:

To me, Julia is the “practice novel;” an exercise Straub must perform while on the way toward the masterpiece that is Ghost Story. Straub learns from his early works. The fruits of his creative and mechanical maturity bear out symbolically, from the ghost of a young girl (in Julia) to the ghost of a fully grown woman (In Ghost Story). This time, Straub’s vagueness add to the overall eeriness of the story.

Now – on with my review of Lost Boy, Lost Girl.  I also recommend this book lukewarmly, but for different reasons.  It’s a decent story overall.  A simple story with only a handful of characters. Good characters, mind you.  Most of the plot is straightforward. It doesn’t meander and his points are relatively clear.  However, more story-telling is needed in regards to my favorite subject – the haunted house. Now you might be thinking, “Well Cheely, just because that’s your thing, it doesn’t have to be at the heart of the story just to please you. Who are you, Cheely, that Straub must write according to your preferences?”  Reader, I’ll get to your critique of my critique.  You’ll see.

The plot unfolds from the perspectives of two characters; the middle-aged writer Timothy Underhill and his teenaged nephew Mark.  Timothy visits his brother Phillip, who lives in another state, on two occasions, both of which are under sad and tragic circumstances. First, he arrives to attend the funeral services of Phillip’s wife/Mark’s mother Nancy who died by suicide. A short while later, Timothy returns to assist Phillip in trying to find Mark, who has gone missing. Other teens had gone missing and there is a suspicion that a serial killer is striking terror in the community. Could Mark have been a victim of this killer? Is his mother’s suicide related to his disappearance?  For you see, as it turns out. Nancy is related to a serial killer who was captured some time ago. This killer’s house still stands, though no one will have anything to do with it. It’s just down the alley from Phillip and Mark’s house. Yes readers, this be the haunted house of the novel.

Mark’s perspective has him with his buddy Jimbo frittering the days away on their skateboard; two carefree teens. That is until he finds his mother’s body. He suspects there is a link to her suicidal demise and the strange things he has been seeing. In various places, he has encountered a phantom shadowy figure. What peaks Marks attention most, though, is the abandoned house down the alley. A giant wall surrounding the premise hides most of it. Why is this wall necessary?  Both boys note an awkwardly built and oddly shaped extension which they correctly surmise was added on to the house by the previous owners. Their assumptions our correct, but why this extension?  The boys see people in the windows, though this place is supposed to be abandoned. What’s up with that?

Suddenly and somewhat mysteriously, Mark becomes obsessed with the house. No longer does he want to “fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way” with his buddy Jimbo. He wants to watch the house. He wants to research the house. He wants to explore the house. And he does!

Sounds like an interesting story, right? Well it is.  Inside, he finds secret passages. He finds mysterious photographs. He encounters torture devices!  And yet, in my opinion, the atmosphere of the inside of the house isn’t fleshed out enough. There is all this build up throughout the first half of the novel, before the boys brave their way inside.  Though the house reveals secrets to them, their journeys inside are a bit of a letdown.  What is the overall atmosphere like inside? Straub doesn’t detail this very much. Do they hear ghostly sounds coming from the dark corners of the rooms? Not really.  Is there any backstory with scenes inside its rooms? Some but not much.  Does the house itself do its job to scare the reader? I would have to say “no.”

If there wasn’t a lot of suspense centered on the house, I wouldn’t complain so much. But there was and so I complain. Yes there are supernatural things at work in this story, but not in the way that is expected. Not in a way that is satisfying.

Straub wrote a sequel to this book called “In the Night Room”. I haven’t read it.  According to Wikipedia:

“The novel follows Timothy Underhill, an author. He is still struggling to come to terms with the loss of his sister April and Timothy tries to channel his sorrow and frustrations into a new novel he is writing”.

Hmmm. I don’t remember anything about Timothy and Phillip having a sister. The way the story in Lost Boy, Lost Girl flows, it seems as if they were the only two siblings. So I really don’t know how much continuity is preserved between the two books.

So, based on my limited knowledge of Peter Straub’s bibliography, Ghost Story is his best. I’m anxious to read The Talisman.  I know,  I know, earlier I said I’ll get to it whenever. Perhaps my interest has piqued a bit since beginning this article. Will you allow me that? Of course you will.

How about you, reader? Can you recommend a Peter Straub book that is on par with Ghost Story?

And to you, Peter Straub, rest in peace. I won’t wish you to rest in power which seems to be a thing now. After passing through this earthly life, I believe one is mercifully freed of this concept of power.  Power certainly can’t be restful, and the dearly departed need to rest. They have earned it. Peace is the better way experience the afterlife.

Algernon Blackwood and Haunted Houses

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Weird Fiction From Algernon Blackwood

“You’re weird!”

I have been hit with this accusation several times, even by members of my own family. (They would know me best I guess.)  So it would naturally follow that I should like weird fiction. Guess what? I do!

Ann and Jeff VanderMeer remind us of what the Weird Fiction genre entails. In their introductory article on the subject, they refer to H.P Lovecraft, the master of all things weird.  According to him, “weird” stories have “a supernatural element” but are to be distinguished from the classic Gothic ghost stories of the seventeenth century. A “weird” tale, according to Lovecraft “has something more than secret murder, bloody bones, or a sheeted form clanking chains.”  What might it have instead?  A “pursuit of some indefinable and perhaps maddeningly unreachable understanding of the world beyond the mundane.”

My efforts to analyze and categorize haunting tales has certainly seemed “maddeningly unreachable”. Me – a weirdo’s dive into the weird.  This is gothic, this is not. This is cosmic horror, this is…oh it’s so damn confusing! It’s all so…”weird.”

Algernon BlackwoodMaking the list of authors associated with Weird Fiction is Algernon Blackwood. Known mostly as a writer of ghost stories, Blackwood entered the publishing world shortly before H.P. Lovecraft. (his first published work around 1906 compared to Lovecraft’s first published material in 1916)  (See bilbliographies on Alergnon Blackood and H.P. Lovecraft.)

According to FantasiticFiction.com,  Blackwood was influenced heavily by Occultism, hypnotism, the supernatural, Hindu philosophy and mysticism.  Quite the gamut of influential “isms” for which to expand the elements of a traditional  ghost or horror story if I do say so myself. 

 

Nature is Scary. So is the Human Mind that Tries to Understand Nature

Sometime over a year ago, I purchased a collection of his works for my Kindle app. I haven’t read it in its entirety, but I combed through quite a few.  Most of his stories show his love for nature. Perhaps “intrigue” is a better word, because what he describes isn’t always a love fest. It’s nature in all its awe, its mystery and yes, its horror.

One of his most well-known stories is The Willows.  Way out in the middle of wooded nowhere, along the Danube River, exist these Willows.  These creeping trees (for they sometimes seem to do so) penetrate the psyches of two terrified travelers.  Then there is The Man Whom The Trees Loved. There is something unnatural about the relationship a man has with these trees. He chooses their companionship over his wife.

In these nature tales, the elements of nature take on human traits. Winds cry, trees sing, you get the idea.  The people in his stories that experience such interactions with nature find themselves at the cusp of the terrifying unknown.  Nothing is as what it seems. This is true as well in his stories that have less to do with nature. Stories, say, that involve – haunted houses!

In most of the haunted house stories I have read, the haunting is revealed to is characters not necessarily be what they see or hear. It is what they feel, or what they perceive in general that lets them know that something isn’t quite right with their surroundings. In short, the perception of the haunting is most felt inside their minds. Perhaps with a slight exception of the first story in my syllabus below, this will be shown over and over in the haunted house tales I describe.

 

A few other things to note, perhaps trademarks of an Algernon Blackwood tale.

  • He writes cerebral horror
  • He writes in passive, a style rebuffed by modern standards that really works well for what he is trying to get across
  • Important concepts, often personified, are capitalized.

 

Let’s go explore some of his haunted houses, shall we? Please note, this isn’t a complete list of his haunted house stories. Want more? Find his anthology and read it!

 

Haunted Houses From  Algeron Blackwood

Algernon Blackwood the empty house

 

The Empty House – 1906

Let us begin with this short and simple tale.  Perhaps this story strays most from the Blackwood criteria I outlined in the sections above in that the haunting unveils itself through sights and sounds experienced by the two sole characters. But this doesn’t make it the lesser. I enjoyed this tale very much and there is plenty of cerebral description going on to describe the haunting.

A young man is visiting his aunt. The aunt is curious about the abandoned haunted house on the other side of town, so she coaxes her nephew to join her in exploring it. She wants to experience a good scare. They procure a key to the place, and an exploring they do go, and the reader goes with them. Room after room, up the stairs, down the hallways. They hear eerie sounds. They see unsightly things. Each one wonders if the other is as afraid as they are.

I will not say much more about this story except to note a couple of things. Shirley Jackson proclaims in her novel The Haunting of Hill House “Some houses are born bad.”  Several decades earlier The Empty House was published.  This story contains the line, “Certain houses, like certain persons, manage somehow to proclaim at once their character of evil.” Both lines mean essentially the same thing. Perhaps Jackson is more to the point, but “overwriting” was common in the days of yore (overwriting by today’s standards, that is).  I like both lines and I just wanted to point out that Blackwood’s observation of the phenomenon came first.

To further illustrate the “house as a character of evil” phenomenon, Blackwood writes “…the aroma of evil deeds committed under a particular roof, long after the actual doers have passed away, that makes the gooseflesh come and the hair rise.”  This line here demonstrates characters experiencing the haunting by means other then their eyes and ears. They feel the haunting on their skin.

 

The Whisperers   – 1912

 

A writer rents an attic room.  He is alone, and only the bare essentials are requested.  A bed, writing table, lamp, wash basin, window.  And yet this rather empty room is filled with the haunting remains of …something. Something that has lingered.

The writer comes to know this to be true.  He arrives at this truth not by sight, sound, or touch.  It is the workings of his own writer’s mind that discovers these facts.  His own thought process is interrupted.  In its place are Impressions, feelings, ideas, and images. They bombard his mind, these “whispers”.  Soon he discerns the nature of these whisperers and comes to understand the past history of this attic room. What was it and what was it meant for?  The answer is not what you might think.

 

The House of the Past – 1914

 

“The Dream turned her key to The House of the Past”.  Isn’t this line something?  It is, in fact, the key to understanding the theme of this story.  Perhaps the only way to traverse a haunted house such as “the House of the Past” is by a dream. Dreams contain the experiences we have chosen, or not chosen, to hide from ourselves.  At least our conscious selves. These experiences are the ghosts.

The character in this story visits The House of the Past. He experiences its haunting demeanor as if in a trance.   The haunting unfolds in revelations.

Several lines in the story reveal Blackwood’s fondness of the elements of nature and their metaphoric ability to capture mood.

“’The wind, like the sea, speaks to the inmost memory’,” she added, ‘and that is why its voice is one of such deep spiritual sadness. It is the song of things for ever incomplete, unfinished, unsatisfying.’”

 

A Psychical Invitation –  1908

 

This is one of several stories involving the character known as John Silence.  He is a psychical detective. A ghostbuster ahead of his time.  He comes to the aid of an unfortunate writer. The poor sap, his mind is disturbed. He cannot write. This is on account of a mysterious presence that haunts his house, the writer surmises.  Oh how he wishes he hadn’t sampled some of that cannabis indica. He only did so to expand his writer’s mind. What it did instead was open his field of awareness to the paranormal.  In this heightened state of mind,  he is aware of the presence and deeply troubled by it.

(side note: man, they smoked some good shit back in them there days. The Cannabis Indica available at today’s dispensaries don’t have that paranormal side effect!)

John Silence advises the man to leave the house while he, the psychical detective, stays in the haunted house to get to the bottom of things.  Things go as planned and John is aided by to assistants who will also stay in the haunted house. These two are more attuned to psychical activity than he is. They are a dog and a cat.

Late at night, when all is dark and the fire is low, John watches the activity of the animals.  He notes that the cat is mysteriously playful with something that he himself cannot see. He also observes the dog in a frightful state, backing away from certain parts of the rom. 

This tale is longer. It’s a novella, perhaps. A good portion of this story dedicates itself to the evolution of the haunting through the observed actions of this dog and cat. It is a creative way to tell a ghost story with effective tension-building techniques.

The Damned – 1914

Algernon Blackwood the Damned

For me, this is the most difficult story to both summarize and opine upon.  How do you capture in a few words

the heart of a story where nothing ever happens and yet make it sound appealing.  See it is an intriguing story, but one must give it a chance.

It’s nine chapters long; the longest of any of Blackwood’s stories that I read.  The longest and yet, “nothing happens?”  That line appears many times throughout the story. I would say it’s nearly a tagline, but any marketing professional out there would see this as a poor choice of words. You’re trying to sell a story where nothing happens? What is this, the horror version of Seinfeld – the show about nothing?

Let me try and explain.  A man and his sister vacate for a lengthy stay and their dear friend Mabel’s estate. The host is a depressed widow, but her depression is not necessarily the result of grief for her lost love. But the dead hubbie has plenty to do with her emotional state. While we’re at it, he has plenty to do with the overall foreboding atmosphere of the entire house and grounds.  Bill and Frances, the two guests, will sample much of this dreariness.

The dead husband was a religious bigot. Stern in his ways and doctrine, unforgiving of others that don’t share his beliefs. Though gone from this earth, his ruthless piety remains.  It is imprinted on the house. Bill and Frances come to learn the house is haunted, but not by conventional ghosts. It is haunted by the disembodied spirit of the dismal.

Both learn of the haunting by intuition.  But their realization comes slowly, as if the gears of their intuitive processes, like a clock with a faulty second hand, struggle to turn. Meanwhile, days go by unfruitfully. Bill, a writer, cannot write. There is no joy anywhere. In short, “nothing ever happens”.

A clue to this situation emerges when Bill studies his sister’s artwork. She paints the outside surroundings of the house. In a word, the paintings are “horrid”.  This is not a description of the artist’s talent but the resulting impact her work has on the one who beholds her paintings.

It is her paintings that allows Bill do see the house and its grounds in a “new light”. More appropriately, in a new kind of darkness.  In short, he intuits a shadow.

The “Shadow” and the “Noise” are concepts that occur over and over. They are not seen or heard. Only felt.  The “shadow” blankets areas of the garden. On account of what his sister shows him in her painting, the garden takes on the attributes of a “goblin garden”. Trees and plants are bend in arcane ways. Growth is stunted. He envisions creatures of a goblin garden, centaurs, etc. Remember, he doesn’t see any thing transform into an arena of the supernatural. It’s the same garden since day 1 of their visit. But he now understands if for what it is.

Likewise with “The Noise”. It is nothing he hears, but it is loud, disrupting. It is the sound of a door closing, a door that is only open for moments at a time. It closes and nothing can get through. Nothing can escape. The Damned remain as the damned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hilarious Haunted House Ha Ha’s Finish With Haunted Houses and The Three Stooges

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All that’s here is – Halloween Ha ha’s (clap clap!)

Halloween Boo Boo’s! (clap clap!)

Haunted House Ha Ha’s

I saved the best for last! What better way to wrap up the Halloween Haunted House Ha Ha’s than with The Three Stooges?  Now now, I know some readers out there be like, “Really?  These guys?”  To youze guyz and galz, I unequivocally and proudly declare “YES. These guys! They are the best!” 

The Three Stooges, some love them, some hate them.  I love them. As I mentioned in a post at the beginning of this month, these three gentlemen of above average intelligence are partly responsible for my love of horror. When I was a kid, Moe, Larry and Curly or Shemp were on television every weekday afternoon. They had several spooky episodes. These were my favorites!

For your viewing pleasure, until Youtube removes them (if this is the case at this time, I’m sorry), I have gathered several, if not all the episodes which I think qualify as “haunted house” shorts.  There are many more spooky episodes out there, but this being a haunted house blog, I am only featuring the shorts that take place in some kind of mansion, castle, or house where weird or spooky things are going on.  There are some episodes that feature a killer or two chasing the Stooges around in some kind of house that are not part of this collection. While they might be enjoyable, they fall short of meeting my “haunted house worthy” standards. (I’m a haunted house snob damn it!)

I’m not going to bother describing The Three Stooges or analyze their style of humor. If you really unfamiliar with these comedians from the days of long ago, then gosh, I don’t know what to say! Nor will I will be “reviewing” these episodes either, not in a critical sense anyway.  I will simply write up a little something about each episode. Brief plot descriptions, some trivia, shit like that!  And then, I will post the Youtube links to the  specific shorts that I am writing about (until they are taken down).

Ready? Here we go!!!!!!!!

 

(The first two episodes I present feature Curly as the third stooge)

Spook Louder – Short #69 – 1943

Plot in short:

 In this creepy tale, The Stooges are tasked with watching over a creepy house while guarding top-secret inventions. The Stooges have their work cut out for them. They must outsmart three thieving spies that are trespassing on the premises and keep their cool in the midst of all sorts of spooky shenanigans. If all this isn’t bad enough, all parties in this house, spies and Stooges, must deal with a phantom pie thrower.

My observations:

If you are to only watch one thing from this short film, go to the 4:30 mark. There is a creepy clock on the wall that you MUST see. It’s a scene of a supposedly Russian clock, in the shape of a weird looking caricature of someone, and it speaks. It says “Yo…ho….ho…..ho!”

The three spies dress in costume. One dresses in black and wears a black hat, another dresses as a devil,  another as a skeleton. In a later episode, these same three costumes are used are worn by another trio of Stooge antagonists. More on this later.

If a Body Meets a Body – Short # 86  – 1945

 Plot in short:

Curly is due to inherit a fortune from a rich, deceased uncle.  To collect, the Three Stooges must be present at the reading of the will, which is to take place in the late of night at the late Uncle’s spooky mansion. There will be murders. Possibly even ghosts!

Trivia via Wikipedia

This is the first film to star Curly after he suffered a stroke. It is noted that he is less energetic than in his previous films.

The plot device is borrowed from a Laurel and Hardy film The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case, The Laurel and Hardy film is a spoof on the 1927 film “The Cat and the Canary”

My observations:

In this film, a bird enters a skull and wears it like a shell. Bird walks around with it, scaring The Stooges into thinking it’s an animated skull. This comedic device of a flying creature manipulating a skull is repeated several times in different films. In fact, it appears in a couple more films featured here in this piece!  

There is a rotating book case which leads to a secret room. This is also a reoccurring plot device featured in several of their films, not to mention being featured in other films that have nothing to do with The Three Stooges. A rotating book case in other films? Shocking!

 

(The remaining episodes feature Shemp as the third stooge. With one exception. You’ll see!)

 

Hot Scots  – Short# 108  – 1948

Plot in short:

The Three Stooges answer an employment ad for The Scotland Yard. The ad seeks three “yard men” and the Stooges think they are applying for the positions of inspectors. Instead, they end up picking up trash in the yard. (Get it, “yard” men? Yuk Yuk!)

But the Stooges get their chance when they happen upon a piece of trash that was actually a request for three inspectors to guard a Duke’s precious antiques at his castle. The Duke leaves, The Stooges guard and the thieves come out to play, dressed in scary costumes.

Trivia via Wikipedia

This short was later remade as Scotched in Scotland , Short #158 – 1954 using stock footage. The 1950s found the Stooges in a predicament where they were contractually bound to produce more films in a short period of time with an ever-tightening budget. Director Jules White workaround was to rework old scenes into new scenarios.

My observations:

As a kid, I loved seeing this masked dude on my TV set.

MaskManStooges

This mask, worn by a thief in Hot Scots, made such an impression on me that I thought it was used as a prop in several episodes. As I combed through all the spooky Stooges episodes that I could get my hands on, it never resurfaced. So I guess I was wrong. The exception would be Scotched in Scotland, which has slightly different scenes, but the masked dude is in both. This part of the confusion.

The Ghost Talks – Short #113 – 1949

Plot in short:

The Stooges are movers tasked with moving various pieces of antique furniture and other items from a haunted castle. One such item is suit of armor that is haunted by the ghost of Peeping Tom. As per the legend, the spirit confides with the Stooges that he was beheaded one thousand years before for opening his shudders on the night Lady Godiva rode her horse naked through the streets.  He will not have his armor removed. Meanwhile, ghostly skeletons haunt the place and scare The Stooges as well.

In the end, a fully clothed Lady Godiva on her horse enters the house and takes Peeping Tom in his armor away. History repeats itself and the devastating scene from 1000 years ago plays out. The Stooges open the shudders, hoping to see a naked Lady Godiva. They hear cheers. No, they don’t get beheaded. Instead, pies are thrown at the window and into their faces.

Trivia via Wikipedia:

This short was later remade as Creeps – Short #168- 1956 using stock footage

My observations:

The gag of “flying animal trapped in skull” reoccurs in this film. This time it is an own that dons the bonehead. He flies around saying “WHO! WHO! WHO!”

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein premiered was released in 1948. The film features a scene where the comedic duo are tasked with moving wax figures of monsters. These monsters are real, in fact, as a frightened Costello would observe. Perhaps the plot of The Ghost Talks, a short released in 1949,  borrows from A and C? Maybe? Hmmmm??

Could not find this on youtube. So here is a dailymotion link

 

Dopey Dicks – Short #122 – 1950

Plot in short:

The Stooges must rescue a woman from a mad scientist. He has designed a man-robot, which looks like a robotic mannequin. Anyway, the robot keeps knocking its head off when he bumps it into anything. It can’t see! So the Mad Doc wants to replace the head with a human head and brain.  For a good part of this film, The Stooges are chased by this headless robot.

 

My observations:

I say that this short barely squeaks in as a “haunted house” film. No ghosts or skeletons, but it is set in a creepy house with secret panels and passages. The headless robot kind of mimics a ghost.

PhilipVanZantDopeyDicksPhilip Van Zandt plays the mad scientist. I single him out because he plays a mad scientist in several Three Stooges shorts.

Spooks – Short #148 – 1953

Plot in short:

Very similar plot to Dopey Dicks. A mad scientist has kidnapped a woman once again. Again, the villain is played by Philip Van Zandt. This time, the mad doc wants to put the woman’s brain into the head of a gorilla. The Three Stooges must rescue her from this house of horrors.

Trivia via Wikipedia:

3D films were the thing in the early 50s. The Stooges wanted to get on the bandwagon. Therefore, this film was shot in 3D!

My observations:

ShempBatAfter reading about the “filmed for 3D”, I noticed the places that would feature this effect.  There is knife throwing, pitchfork lunging, blowtorch flaming, cleaver wielding, Moe’s two fingers poking. But perhaps the most outrageous three-dimensional horror is a bat with Shemp’s face!  Shemp comments on what an ugly creature it is!

Scotched in Scotland – Short #158 – 1954

Plot in short:

 This is the remake of Hot Scots. The introduction is different. In the original, Moe dances to bagpipe music with a woman while a man wearing a sheik outfit hides in a picture frame, disguised as the portrait. This scene is omitted in this film. Instead, Moe and Shemp are spooked by a , you guessed it, a bird in a skull that carries the bone head and a sheet when it flies.

A new soundtrack features the sounds of spooky winds.

 

Creeps – Short #168 –  1956

Plot in short:

This is a remake of the 1949 The Ghost Talks short using stock footage.  This time, there are three baby stooges in bed and The Three Adult Stooges tell them a bedtime story involving ghosts, knights, and murders. They tell the story of the time they are movers and tasked with moving the haunted knight armor.

The scene involving Lady Godiva is omitted. It ends, instead, with the Baby Stooges not satisfied with the story, crying that they want another story. To get them to sleep, the adult stooges hit them over the head with a hammer.

My observations:

There is a barking bat-dog hanging on the wall again. This happens in Spook Louder.

EXTRA  – Three Pests in a Mess, 1945 Short# 83 (Not a Haunted House short, but

a scary graveyard. And Curly Returns!)

Plot in short:

Curly mistakenly thinks things he murdered a man when he accidentally shoots a mannequin.  The Three Stooges bag “the body” and take it to a cemetery.  Their actions are observed by a night watchman. He phones for help, reporting that prowlers are on the loose. Three helpers arrive straight from a masquerade party.  They are dressed in the same outfits as the spies in the short Spook Louder. This time, regular Stooge antagonist Vernon Dent dons the costume of the man in black.

(First Picture – Costumes used in 1943 Spook Louder. Second Picture – Costumes used in 1945 Three Pests in a Mess)

ThreeSpookLouder ThreePestsInAMess

Horrible Haunted House Ha Ha’s Continue with Marlon Wayans’ A Haunted House

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I can’t believe this. Here I am, reviewing Marlon Wayans’ A Haunted House and yet I still haven’t gotten around to writing about the movie it is spoofing – Paranormal Activity.  That’s what happens when you’re stricken with the:

Halloween Ha Ha’s,

Haunted House boo boos

Haunted House Ha Ha’s.

Except I forgot to say “Ha Ha” when watching the movie. I did force myself to laugh several times.  The laughter flowed in more of a “heh heh” fashion though.

AHauntedHouse

What can I say about this movie? Do I really have it in me to analyze and criticize this kind of film? Is there anything really for me to hypothesize then publicize?  Should I demonize the demon eyes? 

No this is not a good film.   But it was entertaining…sometimes. It wasn’t boring, that’s for sure.

Marlon Wayans and Essence Atkins star as a couple who move in together. Atkins’s character, a hoarder, brings much to Wayans’ house, including a malicious ghost. Or is it a demon? During a Ouija board session, the spirit proclaimed itself to be a “gost”. It can’t spell. Funny!  Not really, but oh well. And that’s all I’ll say about the plot, aside from the fact that it loosely mimics the storyline of Paranormal Activity, but I already mentioned that, and now I’m just rambling to extend this “review.”

The thing is, many reviewers ripped this movie because of the poorly written plot.  What the hell, the only purpose of the plot was to provide some kind of structure for which to attach all those raunchy jokes. I got that, never expected anything else. 

But those raunchy jokes tho’!

Let’s see, we have racial stereotyping humor, white couple wants to swing with black couple funnies, gay psychic wants to do Wayans hilarity, Wayans humping his stuffed animal jocularity, man and woman both raped by a demon shenanigans, fart jokes, blunt-smoking demon ha ha’s, exorcisms conducted by jailhouse preacher hee hee’ss, small penis chuckles, and many scenes of Wayans’ bare ass for raw naked humor..  I could go on.

Though crude, I’m no prude, and I was able to at least smile at all the stuff written about in the preceding paragraph. I was never a member of the PC police and when it comes to comedy, I prefer old school raunchy over the modern perky quirky.  But the jokes in A Haunted House became repetitious, and just when you’ve had enough the film doubles down on them, then triple downs, quadruples even. More. Faster. Louder.

This was my first exposure to the comedic styling of Marlon Wayans.  Maybe I’ll check out more of his work but maybe not. I could take it or leave it, but if I ever feel a bit off-center, I’d be leaning toward “leave it”.

 

Rottontomatoes score = WOW, only 9%! Well, it’s still better than Hillbillies in a Haunted House IMHO.

 

****************

Next up – GOOD Haunted House HA HA films.  I promise!

Hillbillies, Ghosts and Bikinis! Horrible Haunted House Ha Ha’s!

/ danielwalterc / Leave a comment

Every film genre has its heroes.  I’m referring to the legendary actors who brought stories to life.  There are the horror film greats, for instance.  Too many to name!  Wouldn’t it be great if some of the signature actors of the horror films of the 30s and 40s contributed their talents to some 1960s haunted house films?  For instance, what if Lon Chaney Jr., John Carradine and Boris Karloff starred in such films, what would the result be?  Answer: a waste of talent. An ineffective ploy to make terrible films interesting.

To their credit, the trio mentioned in the paragraph above did their jobs well. But their talents just couldn’t save Hillbillies in a Haunted House and The Ghost and the Invisible Bikini, two Horrible Haunted House Ha Ha films.  Both of these movies try to mix music and comedy with horror. It doesn’t mix well.  Not in these instances. Not at all.

Hillbillies in a Haunted House

 

*If the above youtube clip is unavailable, sorry. Copywriters claimed it.

 

Let’s begin with the Hillbillies. Yeeeeeee Haw!  This film stars Lon Chaney Jr and John Carradine. Merle Haggard makes an appearance or two as well. It seems as if the goal of this film was simply to publicize a bunch of country music acts, so a couple of producers decided:

“Hey, let’s git us some musical acts in a film, throw some kind of story around them or something. All we need is a writer with a low-budget kind of mentality. Maybe like a haunted house plot or something.”

The comedy, I’m convinced, just naturally flowed from the stupidity, a kind of “Gee this is so stupid. Uh, maybe it’s funny?”.  But it wasn’t funny, damn it! It certainly isn’t a “It’s so bad it’s good” movie either. It is just bad.

The film opens with real life country singer Ferlin Husky  (playing the role of Wood Wetherby; a fictional country singer), driving with singing partner Boots Malone and manager Jeepers. They are headed to a Jamboree in Tennessee. Of course, they have to sing about it with the song “We’re headed to the Jamboree” or something.

On their way, this trio stops for the night at a haunted house. The source of the haunting is really a gang of international spies!  Oh, but it turns out the house really is haunted by some Civil War solider! The End…NOT!  The last thirty minutes are all Jamboree stuff. UGH!

 

Some notes:

  • A gorilla takes part in the scares. Olden days movies, they just love to put an actor in a gorilla suit and have him run around and scare people.
  • Lon Chaney Jr., what the hell happened to ya?  You were this handsome, dashing thin man. You changed!
  • There is one good part of the movie. An excellent musical performance by Sonny James doing the song When the Cat Came Back

Rottontomatoes score:  15%

 

The Ghost and the invisible Bikini

*If the above YouTube clip is unavailable, sorry. Copywriters claimed it.

This film is a little bit better than the first. Replace hillbillies with beach teens. Replace country music with 1960’s beach pop songs.

Here are the elements of this film:

Two Ghosts (Boris Karloff and Some Girl, who “wears” an invisible bikini. But sorry, you still won’t see nuttin’ fun) / An eccentric lady who screams sometimes / Her dumb blonde beach bum nephew / A horde of his beach friends / A young couple that start off as strangers, but we all know they’re destined to be lovers / A shady, evil lawyer and his accomplices / Nancy Sinatra, one such accomplice / A motorcycle gang / A gorilla. You have to have a gorilla. It was the law back then. 

Throw this whole mess into a haunted house and let the zany antics begin!

This film is part of a series. According to Wikipedia it’s the “seventh and last of American International Pictures’ beach party films”.  But wait a minute! If you follow the link to American International Pictures beach party films,

it lists twelve such films and “Ghost/Invisible” is number 10! Wiki! You contradict yourself! Anyway, it’s funny how all the films released before The Ghost and The invisible Bikini star Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello (okay, Funicello skipped out on the one of them). Wikipedia states that Avalon and Funicello appeared in marketing promos for this ghostly, beachy film, but they were not cast in it.  These beach party films had reoccurring actors but the only actor that appeared before is Deborah Walley, and she did not get on board until the fifth film Beach Blanket Bingo . So THAT is why, I guess, Ghost/Bikini gets to be included inthe “beach party film” club! Good Grief!

This film has its fun moments. But it’s not good enough to be a “so bad it’s good” movie. Perhaps it’s a “so bad it’s okay” movie?  Maybe.

 

Rottentomatoes score: 48%

Black Rabbit Hall – Who are the Ghosts that Haunt this Story?

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Once upon a post, I declared Shirley Jackson’s novel “We have Always Lived in the Castle” to be a haunted house story. Somewhere in the middle of this piece I even went so far as to title a section heading as “What Kind of Ghosts ‘Have Always Lived in the Castle’”.  This threw some readers off. They were ready to point out that “there were no ghosts in the story”. But then they read the stuff underneath the heading and it clicked. “Ah,” they said, “Now I see what you mean!”

See kids, ghosts do not always appear as things in white sheets. Nor do they always show up as glowing, semi-transparent figures.  Sometimes they are not seen at all.  Sometimes a ghost is not representative of one single personality. Sometimes there are ghosts not of a person at all, such as the ghost of a fading memory trying to resurface again, or the ghost of a feeling, long forgotten until that very moment when it suddenly haunts your heart with a confusing mixture of specificity and vagueness, familiar and foreign at the same time.     

Perhaps you can see where I am going with this. There are many ghosts lurking around the pages of Eve Chase’s Gothic novel Black Rabbit Hall, but you must widen your perspective or you’ll miss them. The summers of 1968/1969 are ghosts, ghosts of timeless seasons long gone. They haunt one Lorna in the twenty teen years, these summers that came to pass and faded before she was even born.  Lorna experiences this haunting when she visits Black Rabbit Hall, searching for a venue for her upcoming wedding.  She has vague memories of this hall as a child, but what are these memories made of? She’s not sure, and that heightens her attraction to this place all the more. She becomes obsessed with the house.  This obsession is seen as toxic to her fiancée, sister and father.

It’s a mysterious, gargantuan house with many floors and too many rooms to count. It is old and rundown, but it has its hidden charms.  The grandfather clock named Big Bertie that has never been able to tell time is one. A stone turret that leads to what would be the bridal suite is another.  Outside the hall exists terrains of cliffs and fields, beaches and tidal waves, and forests and trees. In all this Lorna will get lost. She will lose herself. She can find herself again but things will never be the same. She needs to turn to the ghosts to help her find herself. The ghosts take the form of hidden inscriptions on large rocks within the woods. They emerge within the tales told to her by the inhabitants of Black Rabbit Hall, incomplete tales she must piece together like a puzzle in order to make things whole. One such inhabitant is the servant Dill. She was there when it all happened. (When what happened?) Then there’s Mrs. Caroline Alton, the elderly lady that owns the hall and is cared for by a Dill. She’s not quite the charmer, but there’s something about her. Ghosts cling to her like moths to a light. These ghosts will connect Lorna to past events and tragedies. They will be the source of fulfilling revelations and usher in a new future.

_________________________________________________________________________

BlackRabbitHall2

Let’s go back. Back to the summers of 1968, 1969.  Black Rabbit Hall was a summer retreat for the Alton family.  Away from the hustle and bustle of London, to escape to the countryside, off they go. Hugo and his wife Nancy, and their four children; teenage twins Toby and Amber, and the younger children Kitty and Barney (Wait, what about Caroline Alton?) Summers here seem timeless. Routines give in to the whim of the weather. Big Bertie dutifully holds back on time.

But ya know, ghosts are born in timelessness. They forever exist in timelessness; coming from the past, predicting the future, invading the present and blurring time’s boundaries.  This time period is seen through the viewpoint of Amber. Something will happen that will seal tragedy within this timelessness. Amber, like Lorna many years later, like her family in the present moment, must rediscover herself and help her brothers and sisters come to terms of the new life that is upon them. 

To quote from the book:

you realize life is not at all linear but circular, that dying is as hard as being born, that it all returns to the point you think you left long, long, ago

This book was one of several items on a list of haunted house books. This list exists somewhere within the realms of the Google search engine. This is how I discovered Black Rabbit Hall.  Since it is featured on this list, I felt it my duty to justify its inclusion. That is why I spent much of this review defining and perhaps redefining the concept of ghosts. But for those who crave a more literal expression of such phantoms, you just might get it. Maybe.  Is the mysterious figure that marches out of the fields at night, leading an army of rabbit shadows, a ghost? Maybe.  

As for Black Rabbit Hall being a haunted house – aren’t houses of this kind often portrayed as conscious entities? It sure seems as if it’s the house itself that protests a certain ceremony that takes place in its confines back in the 1960s. The house and its surrounding environment whip up a quite the storm, perhaps as an indication that such a ceremony, though at the right place, is in the wrong time, celebrated by the wrong people. If anything, the house is the collective spirit of many things, many events and people.  To quote again from the book:

For all its oddness and tragedy, she knows she will miss Black Rabbit Hall , as you do miss places that make you rewrite your own map, if only slightly, places that take a bit of you away, give you something of their spirit in return

The house, in its own way, has the ability to communicate, to call to the ones the belong and shun the ones that don’t.

I recommend this book and I’m sure you will enjoy this haunted house story. If you look for ghosts in the right places, you will find them.

I Am the Pretty Little Thing That Lives in the House – A Review

/ danielwalterc / Leave a comment

I-Am-Pretty-Thing-Lives-House Ghost

I am the ugly fat thing that sits in his basement and writes about I Am the Pretty Little Thing That Lives in the House, a 2016 haunted house film from director Osgood Perkins. Actually, I have lost a lot of weight, and come to think of it, I am handsome.  Perhaps my appearance is debatable. As is the quality of this film. Very much so.

The average rating on IMDB comes to 4.6 out of 10 stars. Oh dear. On rottentomatoes  the average rating among critics is 57%. The average among the audience is only 24%. Wow, that is low, man. Reeeeal low. And yet, critics such as Brian Tallerico of rogerebert.com are generous with praise. Released in limited theaters back in 2016, it found its home on Netflix a year later. If I remember correctly, the average rating among Netflix viewers is 3 out of 5 stars.

I’m guessing those who pan it do so for its slow pace, lack of substance, and its arguably pretentious style. Those who like it, perhaps, admire its atmosphere, its creepy tone and the simple visuals of the rooms, stairs, and hallways that create a haunting mood more effectively than a camera obsessed ghost. Though the film does have a ghost, it’s not camera obsessed, but nor is it camera shy. It shows up in the right places, sometimes in the background, sometimes it’s more obvious.

I seem to have devoted more attention to what is good about the film in the previous paragraph than what is not so good. Does this mean I like the movie? Sure I do. But it’s not without its faults.

It’s a simple story, perhaps even a cliché’. A young hospice nurse is to be the live-in caretaker of a retired horror authoress, who is mostly bedridden and suffers from dementia. Iris Blum consistently mistakes Nurse Lily Saylor for “Poly”, who turns out to be the protagonist of Iris’s best-selling novel “The Lady in the Walls.”  Meanwhile, strange things happen to Lily during her stay. Some phantom force rips a phone out of her hands. She hallucinates and sees her arms decay. She hears a thump, thump, thump inside the walls. Due to Iris’s mental state, Lily cannot have a coherent conversation with her, so she cannot turn to her for explanations. All she seems to be able to talk about is “Poly.”  Searching for answers, Lily begins to read “The Lady in the Walls.”

What was it they taught us back in grade school about journalism, the 5 or 6 questions a reporter must ask to get to the meat of the story? I believe it was “who”, “what”, “where”, “when”, “why” and “how.”  Well, this film fails at answering many of these questions. I know, this isn’t a report for the six o’clock news, this is a film, a work of art for Christ’s sake! Still, I believe much of the film’s criticism stems from its unapologetic ambiguity. Quite often, Lily narrates and speaks directly to us, the viewers. But it’s not always her that speaks. Sometimes it’s Poly. Thanks to the subtitles (I watch most films with subtitles) I knew who was speaking. Otherwise, I would have been at a loss.  This is a problem with the “who”.  “What” is this film about?  To go into a deeper examination than what I have already explained is tricky, if not impossible. It’s one of those films that, when it’s all over, might cause someone to say, “What the hell did I just watch?”  See, a problem with the “what”.

The “where” is achieved. A house in New England. This is “where” all the action (and inaction) takes place. There is nothing to be desired outside its premises.  “When” does this film take place?  The film doesn’t explicitly give a time period for the present-day action. But there is a wall phone with a long cord, a rabbit-ears television and a tape deck with cassettes, so one can assume it’s the 80s? Maybe? Then again, the story alternates time periods now and then, sometimes in confusing ways.  Why and how is the house haunted? A vague answer comes from Lily herself as she narrates to us at the beginning of the film:

On ghosts in general

They have stayed to look back for a glimpse of the very last moments of their lives.

 

On ghosts haunting a house

There is nothing that chains them to the places where their bodies have fallen. They are free to go, but still they confine themselves, held in place by their looking. For those who have stayed, their prison is their never seeing. And left all alone, this is how they rot.

That’s about the best answer the film will give. If it’s not satisfactory then the appetite for further knowledge will just have to go unfed.

But, did you notice how awesome those quotes from the movie are?  This is a film that wants to be a novel. Or a poem. There are many more poetically haunting slices of narration. Perhaps the most quoted is the first narrated line of the film:

I have heard myself say that a house with a death in it can never again be bought or sold by the living. It can only be borrowed from the ghosts that have stayed behind.

Beautiful, right?  With the right visuals properly synced to such beautifully haunting words comes a moving experience.  This synchronization happens many times. “And left all alone, this is how they rot”. We see the rot in the mold on the walls, in the mysterious black puncture wounds on Lily’s skin.  “Their prison is their never seeing”  Enter the blindfolded woman, the original doomed occupant of the house.

I-Am-Pretty-Thing-Lives-House

The film moves in dreamlike sequences, nonlinear at times, with metaphors painted over the loose edges. I might be so bold to state that I might have liked this film better if it doubled down on all this. Forget any attempts at a straight story, just move with the words and use the camera to paint the images the words tell us to see.  I am willing to bet the naysayers would only scream a louder “nay” at this suggestion. And who am I to suggest such a thing but a slightly overweight guy in the bowels of his house.  If I had to grade this film on a letter scale, allowing for +’s and –‘s, I’d give it a solid B.  B from the basement.

Review of The Cliffhouse Haunting – A Thorne and Cross novel

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Hey you

Me?

Yeah you! Remember that one “American Horror Story” season, with that lodge by the lake and that creepy blue lady ghost?

Let me think…Oh yeah! She was creepy. Man, Jessica Lange impressed again, this time as Constance Leigh Welling, the self-published “authoress.”  Dragging around her assistant by his nose, the poor young Luke Donovan, played so well by Evan Peters. How she thought she was so talented, so young, so beautiful, so popular! That old narcissistic bitch! She really got her comeuppance! Thank God the daughter of the owners, Sara Baxter-Bellamy played by Taissa Farmiga, became Luke’s love interest, making Constance jealous and eventually giving him the encouragement to leave that bitch.

Uh..yeah.

Oh, and I won’t forget Dr. Roger Siechert, played by Dylan McDermott. That hilarious German-folk enthusiast, who not only took up killing people, but also liked to stick that severed finger up is ass! He called it the “chocolate wander” and it was also “The Happy Wander”, like the German song, “Valeri, Valera! Valeri , Valer- Ha Ha Ha Ha HA HA HA “

Yeah..sure.

How about that Hammerhead serial killer, named because he killed his victims with the hammer! Man, we never discovered who he was until the end. Who played him?

Beats me. Hey listen-

And through it all – the blue lady ghost! When the bathrooms in the lodge rooms flood, there were her soggy footprints in the carpeting. And even when there was no flooding, the mirrors of the bathrooms would suddenly fill up with moisture, and when that happened you just knew the blue lady was coming! You just knew it!  Thanks for the memories! I’m going to log in to Netflix and watch it again!

You won’t find it. I’ve been trying to stop you before you got to carried away, but I was too late.

What do you mean? And why did they take it down already?

I mean, it never aired. It wasn’t an American Horror Story season at all. This was a book by Thorne and Cross called “The Cliffhouse Haunting”

Then why did you tell me it was?

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

But I know! Afterall, I’m the idiot that wrote up that goofy exchange up there! A little more than halfway through the book, I had the thought that the Constance character resembles the appearance and actions of the kinds of characters Jessica Lange plays on American Horror story. As for the happy wandering doctor, the assistant and lodge daughter? The AHS actors I’ve chosen for the parts “sort of” fit, but come on, I had a narrative-thing going on, so I had to make them fit. There are other interesting and kooky characters in this book as well, but I couldn’t make them all fit into roles that are to be played by other notable AHS actors, cramming them it like puzzle pieces in the wrong spots (my Dad used to do this when working a jigsaw puzzle. It would piss my Mom off). AHS stories always have multiple plots. So does The Cliffhouse Haunting! AHS often has too many plot threads going on for its own good. The Cliffhouse Haunting has just the right amount. So perhaps its too good of a story for that famous cable show?

Thorne and Cross have been promoting audio versions of their books lately.  I came across their promotion for the audiobook copy of The Cliffhouse Haunting. Alas, it didn’t coax me to seek it out. It’s just that I’ve never done the audiobook thing. Hell, I have had Bluetooth for my last two cars and I never set it up. I guess for me, if it’s not music, then it doesn’t need to be transmitted to me electronically. BUT, the ad DID get me to purchase a copy to read on my Kindle app. And read it I did. So now, The Cliffhouse Haunting will join the other books by this haunting and hilarious duo that have made my page or reviews. These include The Ghosts of Ravencrest (the story has continued on, I have to catch up!), Five Nights at a Haunted Cabin, and book written by on half of the duo, Tamara Thorne, called Hunted. I do believe that The Cliffhouse Haunting is the first book by this duo.

The Cliffhouse Haunting is more of an entertaining book than it is scary. Yes, there’s the Blue Lady Ghost, and she’s creepy, but the word “entertaining” encompasses a larger umbrella of descriptors. “Scary” fits underneath its domain, as does “gory”, and “weird”. And “funny”, for which you can also remove the “ny” to make it a “fun” book, and that it is.

The authors take a divergent set of characters and flesh them out in a “fun” ghost story.  There’s the typical small-town sheriff; capable, modest, down-to earth. The lodge proprietors two married men with a college-aged daughter that helps her dads run the place. I’ve already mentioned Constance, the Happy Wandering Doc, and Hammerhead; but there is the mortician that is dominated by his overbearing wife. There is the lady who can’t control her obnoxious kids. Oh, I can’t forget the person that likes to vandalize buildings with penis-graffiti art.  Thorne and  Cross love to give their characters sexual idiosyncrasies. It just wouldn’t be a Thorne and Cross book without the characters that seek out different ways to satisfy themselves. Every once in a while, one of these characters will have a criminally deranged perversion, but damn it, these are horror novels! So, be afraid and even disgusted at those characters who kill and maim in the goal of fantasy fulfillment, but laugh at the ones that who have harmless albeit different hobbies. “The Chocolate Wander” – laugh, this is funny, it wanders where “chocolate” gathers! Well, I should say, laugh until someone gets hurt, because sometimes what starts as fun and weird ends rather badly.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I like this book. I guess that’s the point of a review, isn’t it, to state whether you like it or not? I could go into more detail about the Blue Lady and the hauntings how she possesses people, and  I could delve into the legends from the past and how the circumstances surrounding serial killings from one-hundred years ago are happening again in an eerily similar manner. Like I said, I COULD go into all that, but nah, read about that for yourself when you buy the book and read it OR listen to it. Take a journey through its pages. Happy Wandering!  

Review of Dark House of Dreams

/ danielwalterc / Leave a comment

Gods and goddesses and demons, oh wow! Arachnids and familiars and oracles, oh dear! Earthquakes and famine and war, oh shit! Shiny men – skinless women – revived dead, say what?

And ghosts. So many ghosts. Hanging out on the roads, in the alleys, in your darkest dreams. Oh, and they hang out in houses too. This last point provides me with the necessary loop hole to include Joe Pawlowski’s novel Dark House of Dreams in my reviews of haunted house literature. But for the most part, it belongs in an entirely different genre.

The genre of the novel as per Amazon.com is dark fantasy.  Scrolling through best sellers that fall into this category, I came across title words such as “summoner,” “underworld,” “dragon,” and “retribution.” Hopefully these words conjure the kinds of themes this genre deals with. I am largely unfamiliar with this genre. I do not normally review books that fall into this category since my genre consists of stories pertaining to ghosts and haunted houses. A reader that is solely attracted to Gothic literature might not be interested in a book of this sort. Likewise, a reader exclusively dedicated to modern haunted house fiction might not be smitten with the stuff of this novel either. Fans looking for similarities to The Haunting of Hill House, The Shining or The Amityville Horror will find nothing of the sort in Dark House of Dreams.

The plot is rather complex and difficult to describe. Dark House of Dreams is one book in a series; the Ring Gargery Series. Much of the book devotes itself to fleshing out a story arc that will reach its curve in future novels. However, this isn’t the first of the series. The Watchful Dead: A Tale of Old Hastur (A Ring Gargery Thriller) predates this novel and is described as “a nightmare blend of gothic traditionalism, magical realism and dark fantasy.”  Perhaps this novel might align more closely to haunted house fiction theme? I should have read this first. Oh well.

Ring Gargery is the protagonist, but he’s by no means the only character to lend readers a perspective. Having spent his childhood isolated within the walls of his house, he comes of age outside the walls, in a world of slaves and nobles where travel is done by boat or horseback, villages are many miles apart and great turmoil is afoot.

An earthquake caused by a demon has ravaged a neighboring community. A giant spider, a god, is burrowing under the town and rising every so often to claim a victim. All this while Ring ekes out a living as a stableman. His pastimes include drinking bowls of wine with friends at pubs and engaging in romantic rendezvous with women. He is also searching for his mother, who mysteriously “went lost”.  Meanwhile, he has these prophetic dreams that place him in a dark house where he is tasked with exploring different “rooms” each time he drifts off to sleep.  When crossing the threshold, he enters not  a room but a landscape of some sort.

What is my favorite slice of turmoil in this story? Why that would be the ghosts, of course! A sorceress has broken down the gates of the underworld and the ghosts have been freed to walk the ….earth? (I’m not even sure this story takes place on earth). The community is forced to live side-by-side with these phantoms. They are mostly a nuisance, but sometimes they can be dangerous enough to be maddening or even deadly.  For mysterious reasons, Ring’s childhood house is overrun with ghosts. They are drawn to it the way flying insects are attracted to light.

Then there is more. There’s politics; councilmen argue and point fingers and do underhanded things. There are murders and kidnappings. There is death by public execution. And then there is more. I can go on and on.

How did I stumble upon this book and why am I reviewing it?  I found an advertisement for this book in one of the many Facebook groups I belong to that encourage authors to promote their books. The title caught my eye. When a haunted house guy such as myself sees the words “dark house”, he reads on. When he sees the word “ghosts” in the synopsis, he considers it for purchase. If the price is right (it was), he goes in for the buy. And that’s what I did. Though there are only a few instances of ghostly goings-on’s that frighten the occupants of a house or castle, dog gone it, I just wanted to say something about Dark House of Dreams.  It took work to finish this book. So many unusual character names, so many unique names for various families, tribes or religious sects (thank you Joe Pawlowski for the list of characters with descriptions at the book’s end!).  I wanted there to be something to show for my efforts. Hence this article; it’s my participation trophy.

Did I like it? In a nutshell, yes. I wouldn’t have finished it if I didn’t. I have no criticisms.  I can’t say that I’m in love with it though. It’s just a matter of taste. It is remarkably well written. And to think of the work involved in creating the world of this novel, set in a mysterious place. Every word spoken, every object used, every place the reader is taken to props up this world and fits neatly together to forge this fantastic setting.  Yes, it took work to comprehend this setting, but much less I am sure than it took to create it. So no, it’s not really a haunted house tale. And it probably does not belong within my catalog of reviews. But here it is anyway. Sue me if you must.

Hausu (House) – A Crazy Film for Crazy Times

/ danielwalterc / Leave a comment

Hausu5My first post of the new year! We all know that 2020 was a whirlwind of chaos on so many fronts.  Then Dec 31 came and at midnight we all said, “Happy New Year!” and like magic, we reset our lives, wiped the slate clean and WHOOPIE – peace and sanity came knocking at our doors once again. NOT! The chaos continues.

I wanted to watch a movie that was fit for these times. By this I mean, I wanted to see a chaotic yet fun film. I know, 2020 was not fun. It was deadly for many. In film we can escape reality.  We can watch carnage erupt on our screens knowing that it’s all fantasy. I found a film that was capable of providing such an escape while reflecting the wackiness of recent times and its offbeat volatility.  It’s horror gone looney. Terror turned topsy-turvy. And best yet, it doesn’t take this “horror” and “terror” seriously.  Oh there is bloodshed and decapitations, and yet it’s fun, fun, fun. And funny! All this in Nobuhiko Obayashi’s Japanese film Hausu. The English title is House.

Think about the past year. The Pandemic. Shelter-in-place. Lockdowns and the shutting down of public events. Some relief. Covid cases drop. Things reopen. Summer time! Uh oh, cases spiking again. Shutdowns. 

Then there was the social unrest. Protests. Riots.  Things ease. Ahh. Oh wait, here comes some more!  An election year in the United States. Much passion and anger on all sides. 2021 comes along and here comes more social unrest.

My point to all this is that these eleven months have been unpredictable to say the least. Up then down. Up. Down. Turn Around (Please don’t let me touch the ground, tonight I think I’ll walk alone, I’ll find my soul as I go home – sorry, got off track quoting New Order lyrics. But hey, that was “offbeat” of me, like the year.)  Well, Hausu is like that. A scene with a sweet, corny melody of young girls walking, followed by scenes of the bombing of Hiroshima, followed by comedic scenes of a goofball guy doing goofy things, followed by a human-eating piano.  Is that unpredictable enough for ya? Okay, those scenes don’t occur in the order I lay out, but I challenge you to watch the film only once and have a grasp of the order of things. You can’t. It’s not that kind of film.

All you really need to know about the plot is this: a girl invites several of her friends to her aunt’s house for summer vacation. The house is haunted and the aunt is creepy. After this, who cares? Just enjoy the amusement park ride filled with demonic cats, floating heads, severed fingers playing the piano, trippy 1970s-style animation, fountains of blood, dancing skeletons, and psychedelic montages.

It’s hard to describe the film. The Criterion Collection calls it “an episode of Scooby-Doo directed by Mario Bava.”  That’s good. Maybe throw in some Monty Python? Quentin Tarantino (way before his time, but…)? Ahh, here’s a way to relate this to Tarantino. Roger Ebert describes Tarantino in his review of Pulp Fiction as follows:

…he’s in love with every shot- intoxicated with the very act of making a movie.

…Here’s a director who’s been let loose inside the toy store, and wants to play all night.

I imagine Nobuhiko Obayashi used all kinds of film toys to create this film; he must have had a gigantic toy box. If he wasn’t intoxicated with making the movie, certainly his viewers were after watching it. I certainly was. Every technique available in 1977 seems to have found its way into the film. Sometimes these techniques hit all at once, and that can be unnerving to the eyes and ears. Oh well, these sensory devices attached to our bodies do recover and when they do, they will be ready for more!

If Hausu was a rock band, maybe it would be some kind of combination of Rush and King Crimson. Or have you ever heard of Mr. Bungle? Yeah that’s it, Hausu is Mr. Bungle!

I first heard of the existence of this film about a year and a half ago, during calmer, saner times. I’m glad I waited to see it, for insane times welcomes insane tastes. Is that a saying? I don’t know. But the film is “fun insanity.”  And THAT is what is needed. Good ol’ silly insanity over the crap that reality spewed on us over these past many months. Fuck reality. Bring on the surreal. Oh, and this film goes great with a big ol’ fat blunt.